As Becky Patterson rocked her six-month-old daughter, Micayla, she began to cry. Through the tears she whispered a prayer: “Lord, I want so much more for her. I want her to know you. I want her to walk with you.”
Married at age 17, a mother by 18, Becky was growing up faster than most. She met and dated Christopher in high school. He was in FCA, and she was in Youth for Christ.
“We were just living life for ourselves; two scared kids who knew the Lord, but we weren’t walking with Him,” she said. “Chris and I didn’t get to go to college. We had to immediately start working. It was like a lot of dreams were shattered.”
"Life is hard. We, as believers, all need someone to walk through life with us."
Becky began volunteering at Northwest Arkansas FCA. Not long after, she joined the full-time staff as a field representative in 2000, organizing FCA Huddles for female student-athletes in middle school and high school. She holds that same position today.
“People are really drawn to her,” said Bill Burnett, area director for FCA in Northwest Arkansas. “It’s just a matter of time, once they get to know her, that they are drawn to Christ. She has an incredible way of connecting with people. That’s a gift.”
A gift that Becky knows comes through shared experience.
“Life is hard,” she said. “We, as believers, all need someone to walk through life with us.”
Becky Patterson has experienced hard. The woman known in Northwest Arkansas as “FCA Becky” has been a firsthand witness to more than a lifetime’s worth of pain and tragedy. But through each experience she has persevered, turning fear to peace, brokenness to beauty, and sorrow to hope.
‘GRIEF DOES FUNNY THINGS’
When her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, Becky—then in her mid-20s—prayed with such intensity and purpose she was certain God would heal her. Eventually, though, the cancer spread to her bones and took over. Becky was sitting bedside in the middle of the night as her mother took her final breath.
“I wasn’t mature enough,” Becky said, “to understand that she received the ultimate healing when she got to go home and be with Jesus. It was one of the big ‘Aha’ moments of my walk with Christ.”
At the funeral, Becky moved from person to person with a smile, trying to be the model Christian, celebrating her mother’s life.
But grief does funny things.
“Once I experienced the depths of loneliness of not having my mom here, I rebelled,” she said. “I went through a season in my life where I was not honoring God. I moved out, and I was so miserable.”
Becky eventually returned home. On the first night back, she sat in Micayla’s room and confessed, “Micayla, I messed up big time. I am not your role model. Jesus is your role model.”
That night, 7-year old Micayla prayed to receive Christ.
“It still blows me away,” said Becky, pausing to catch her breath through the tears. “In my brokenness, she prayed to receive Christ. That was the beginning of her faith journey and also the beginning of my restoration.”
BEAUTY IN SUFFERING
It started with a scratch from a cat, that led to a sickness she couldn't shake, and then a visit to the doctor. In the midst of trying to figure out the illness, Becky was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“That was scary because I had this beautiful little girl,” Becky said, “and I have to go through chemotherapy and have a double mastectomy, and this was just rocking my world.”
She had watched her mother wrestle with cancer. But this was personal.
“I had seen my mom go through so many years of pain,” she said. “I’d walk in grace and peace knowing that God was not going to leave me stranded … I didn’t want to leave my little girl.”
The chemotherapy hit Becky hard. She lost her hair, eyelashes and appetite. The treatments sapped her energy. The smell of food made her nauseous. As she struggled, her FCA family rallied.
Becky was lying sick in bed after the first treatment when she heard a stir. She lifted herself out of bed and walked into the hall. There stood one of her “FCA kids” holding a bag.
"God really and truly is more than enough." Patterson with her "FCA kids"
“Miss Becky, you look so cute,” the girl said.
Becky didn’t feel “cute.” The two met in the hall and hugged. Becky plopped down on her bed and dumped out the contents of the bag. Out tumbled cards to every restaurant in Northwest Arkansas, enough $50 gift cards to eat for months.
"My kids—I call them my kids, the kids I work with,” she said, “they were the hands and feet of Jesus.”
To her FCA family, the gestures were simply a response to the avalanche of kindness Becky had shown them over the years. Her faith had changed countless lives, including her own supervisor.
“I am a different person because of Becky, but not so much because of how she handled her cancer,” Burnett said. “I have learned so much from Becky about what it means to care for people; what a big difference we can make on a daily basis through small acts of kindness.”
Becky’s illness became her platform to share the gospel. On many days, she felt weak or sick to her stomach and struggled to get out of bed, but she did. She thought of the beauty she witnessed in her mother’s suffering.
“She loved Jesus so much,” Becky said. “She was a wonderful role model for me to watch how she handled suffering. She did it with grace and a thankful heart. It was beautiful to watch.
“I was not a beacon of strength by any means. All the coaches I was working with knew what I was going through, but I wasn’t in my ‘FCA Becky’ mode. I just needed to get through each and every day.”
Out of the darkness came light. The chemotherapy worked. Becky was cancer free.
‘LORD, WHAT ELSE?’
One year after her final treatment for breast cancer, Becky faced another setback. This time it was cervical cancer. Within days, doctors performed a radical hysterectomy, meaning Becky and Chris would not be able to have any more children.
“We’d talk a lot about the sovereignty of God,” Burnett said. “She would ask, ‘Lord, what else? Why me? Why this? Why now?’ I told her God is either sovereign or He’s not. That’s what I believe really got her through and brought her to a place of peace. Not necessarily me telling her, but her coming to grips with the reality of the sovereignty of God and standing on that truth.
“She had a great deal of peace. Now, I’m not going to say it was a breeze. It was a real struggle and pain—not just physical but emotional.”
Becky remembered those days of discomfort.
“I did feel His presence and His peace,” she said. “There were times He scooped me and carried me through some truly dark times.”
Becky had suffered physically and emotionally, but she was a survivor. She had reason to be joyful. Despite the setbacks, she was alive and—finally—well. Her marriage was strong, she loved her work, and Micayla was preparing for her senior year of high school.
An only child with an exceptional spirit, caring heart and brilliant mind, Micayla was an honor student and an athlete, playing on Har-Ber High School’s girls basketball team.
Before heading off to college, there was something she needed to do: see John Mayer in concert. When the local radio station announced Mayer was coming to nearby Tulsa, Micayla squealed. The concert was on a Friday night, just days before the start of the school year. Micayla wanted to go with two of her friends.
The drive was an hour away, and Chris and Becky went back and forth on what to do. Micayla was responsible, she was practically almost in college, and they didn’t want to be the overprotective parents whose kids rebel the second they get some freedom in college.
“We ultimately decided that she had great friends, and Micayla had a really good head on her shoulders,” Becky said. “I trusted them, but driving just worried me.”
On the morning of Sept. 3, 2010, Micayla kissed her mother and told her, “I love you.” She texted her mom throughout the night, including one with a short video clip attached.
“I could hear her singing in the background,” Becky said, “and then she put the phone up close to her mouth and said, ‘I love you momma.’ That was the last time I ever heard her voice.”
Moments after leaving the arena, a pickup truck slammed into the side of the girls’ car. Micayla’s friends in the front seat survived, but she died instantly.
OUR DAUGHTER IS WITH JESUS
Becky heard a knock on the door. Chris got out of bed and walked to the hallway. A police officer was there.
“Becky, you need to come here,” he said.
Becky and Chris sat down and grabbed each other by the hand.
“I am sorry for your loss,” the officer said.
"I could hear her singing in the background, and then she put the phone up close to her mouth and said, 'I love you momma.'"
“Don’t be,” Chris said. “Our daughter is with Jesus.”
“We knew where she was,” Becky said. “It was the worst of the worst—and it still is—but it’s just awesome how God has used her to share the hope in Christ.”
But the pain will never fully go away.
“She’s not over it yet,” Burnett said. “I told her, you will limp into Heaven with that one. You’ll never completely get over losing your daughter.”
There isn’t a day that goes by that Becky and Chris don’t think of Micayla. Each year on Sept. 3, the anniversary of Micayla’s accident, the couple canvasses the community, putting signs on street corners and alongside open roads. More than 100 signs carrying a photo of Micayla and the message: “Today is my heavenly birthday because I put my faith in Jesus Christ. Have you?”
“Instead of being a sad day, we know that it’s her heavenly birthday and it should be celebrated,” Becky said.
In time, again, Becky has found peace.
“I believe that when you are at the lowest of lows, when you are that weak, He is strongest,” she said. “I have seen that. I have felt it.”
A WORLD AWAY
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” – Romans 8:18 (NIV)
Six months after Micayla’s accident, pain and anger had again reared its ugly head.
“One day after church, I was just miserable,” said Becky. “I got out of the truck and I just started to walk.”
“Where are you going?” asked Chris.
“I am just going for a walk,” she said.
Becky was coming off six months of speaking at churches and schools, staying busy and sharing her story. As her schedule slowed, she became miserable. Becky walked and cried. Her purse in one hand and her Bible in the other, she paced the backyard: “Lord, I want something right now. You need to show me right now why this all makes sense.”
“After I was done having my pity party, I came inside and saw I had a notification [on my phone],” she said. “While I was walking I got a message from a lady in Dubai—on the other side of the world.”
The woman was a fan of John Mayer, the music artist Micayla went to see the night she died. The woman came across a YouTube video clip from the John Mayer concert the evening after Micayla’s accident. Mayer talked to the audience about Micayla and how sad the news made him. From Dubai, the woman sent a Facebook message to Becky: “I am from Dubai, and I’m a Muslim. My mother was a Christian, and she lost her battle with breast cancer two weeks ago.”
“While I am wailing in my yard saying, ‘I want something right now,’ He gave it to me,” Becky said. “It was Him meeting me right where I was. It’s awesome how faithful He is when we’re not.”
Burnett remembered how her suffering led to new ministry opportunities.
“God opened the door for so many people to come to her and talk about their own issues,” he said. “She is equipped to help those people through those struggles because of what she had been through. She used her experience as a teachable moment.”
Becky and Christopher Patterson celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary last November. They still have good days and bad days, and they’ll always have holes in their hearts without Micayla, but “God really and truly is more than enough,” Becky said.
“That’s what this has taught me. I never thought I’d be able to live without my mom, and He brought us through that. Then, my daughter. I used to think of myself as really, really weak, and now I know I am the weakest of the weak. But I walk every day with Christ as my strength, and I feel like with Him I could walk through anything.”
A NEW SEASON
Becky is back at FCA, but it feels different. For more than a decade, she has been working tirelessly sharing the gospel, without ever fully realizing her work could create new generations of disciples.
Some of her former “kids” are now wives and mothers, coaches or coach’s spouses.
Patterson, husband Chris, and son Christopher.
And, wait.
“I didn’t tell you the really awesome part of our story,” Becky said.
It’s a story entering a new chapter.
“We got a telephone call from a young lady who was a freshman in college,” Becky said. “Her younger sister and Micayla grew up being really close. She said, ‘Miss Becky, I don’t know if you guys would consider this, but I just found out I am pregnant, and I am not ready to be a mother and I want this baby to have a mother and a father.’”
Becky and Chris accepted. Christopher Stephen Patterson is now two years old.
“We’re starting completely over with Micayla’s little brother named after my husband, Christopher,” Becky said. “First, we were the young parents with Micayla, and now we’re the old parents with Christopher.”
Yet another chapter added to the story of Becky Patterson's faith. It's a story that has gone through deep valleys and mountain peaks, and with each experience, she has encountered and gained a richer love for Christ. A love that pours out of her heart into the lives of her family and the community she ministers to through FCA.
–This article appears in the January/February 2015 issue of FCA Magazine. To view the issue in its entirety digitally, click here: Jan/Feb 2015 FCA Mag Digital
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Photos courtesy of Becky Patterson and hudsonphotos.com